Mon Mar 29, 2004
Today was one of those rare Spring days where the entire world seems to be taking a deep breath. Hot enough to break out the shorts and drink beer on the patio. Which is what I did after riding down to the river and reading Tolstoy. Yes, I am once again in love with Tolstoy. And with riding. There are sublime moments one can have on a bicycle, when your legs are pumping the pedals at just the right rhythm, the satisfying crunch of the tires on the gravel path, the subtle art of changing gears… As you can tell I’ve been enjoying my freedom. If it’s sunny I can choose to go outside, if I feel like staying up late to watch Conan ‘o Brien I can, even on school nights! And I get to work on my writing. Of course the price to pay is the feeling that listlessness could intrude at any moment were it not held at bay by idle pursuits. I must admit though, that I’m keen to start doing something constructive now, I’ve had a horrifying sense of discipline and duty drummed into me in Korea, gone are the days where I could spend a whole summer on the beach and not feel guilty about it.
Prior to my brother’s recent move, I consolidated all my possessions into a meager three boxes. I let a lot of stuff go, purged a few memories from my past, set myself up as a traveling gypsy. Now I plan to juggle for a living, meet lots of interesting people and have many adventures. Well, maybe not the juggling part, but it’s an idea anyways. I have this nagging feeling I’d like to settle down soon because, as great as it sounds in theory, I can’t keep traveling the world forever. The only continent I haven’t been to is Australia, and I’ve met enough Australians everywhere else to make it completely unnecessary to actually go there. I still have a lifetime’s worth of places to see, but I also have to make some smart career moves. So, in the immediate future I’m going to get certified as an ESL teacher, I’m looking into getting a three month TESL certificate at this college in Victoria. I think it would be awesome to spend the summer on the island (Vancouver Island) and it should open up the good local ESL jobs for me while I mull over my next move. I’m seriously considering going back to school for an extra year to get my B.C. teacher’s certification so I can teach high-school. At this point teaching Shakespeare instead of a,b,c’s is starting to sound good. I don’t have a thesis yet, but if I’m ever impassioned over something, I’ll stop and write about it, I owe that to myself.
I was quite ok with the idea of staying in Korea and still would like to go teach in Japan, but at this point I have to ride out certain waves in my life. Everybody has these bizarre idiosyncratic existences and we’re all motivated by different things, it’s impossible to explain the intricacies of one’s desires. Isn’t that what life is about? We all desire something, whether it be money or power or something more noble like love, or helping others. There comes a time when one has to honestly ask themselves what they care about most in this world. And if the answer is ambiguous or noncommittal then one simply has to go on looking.
So, anyways, that’s my little splurge of inane drivel for now. Let me just add though, that I am starting to miss Korea a bit, I actually went out today and bought a twelve-pack box of Kimchi flavoured noodles. I didn’t even like Kimchi that much, but now I have an odd longing to have some again. And I discovered a Korean channel on TV that shows really recent Korean movies every week. Last night I watched My Teacher Mr. Kim Bong-Doo which I thought was rather good. Nobody but me seems remotely interested in Korea though, looks like I have to go find some Korean friends!!!