"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anais Nin

Sun Nov 9, 2003

I think the full scope of one’s life can only be realized by those who have taken full responsibility for the enormity of it. So many in this world seem almost indignant that they are alive at all. Since they never asked to be alive in the first place they don’t feel it is necessary to explore their full potential as human beings, being merely content to get through life as safely and quickly as possible before it ends. This seems an oxymoron to me, because without the risk and the challenge and the pain and the sacrifice the life was never a life at all. I think this is the challenge posed to us as sentient beings: to discover the true shape of our lives. To determine how large and round and full our lives can possibly be, to hammer with our fists against the very ceiling of our aspirations. This takes courage. This is what I like to think Anais Nin was talking about.

So Won Jang Nim hired those choreographers and the children have since been enrolled in ‘musical English’ classes. They’re rehearsing an elaborate production of ‘Snow White’ to be presented upon graduation. Debbie played the music to us at full blast during our ‘break’ the other day: a whiny voice with a ghastly accent singing “Snow White, you are sooooo beeoooootiful. You are the raaaaainbow”. Mmmmmm…. The other day Johnny told me that if his mommy eats too much then she will get fat and have a baby. I had a good laugh at that one, six year olds live in such a wonderful fantasy world. The innocence of children is very refreshing and is a welcome escape from the bitter, cynical world of adults. Kids are so easy to entertain sometimes, they laugh at just about everything. On Friday we took the young ones to a sort of indoor playground called “KinderAnd” although I’m fairly certain it was supposed to be “KinderLand”. It was so cool for them, they had jumping castles, trampolines, elaborate jungle-gyms and slides and playstation games and that room that’s filled with thousands of balls - you know the one I’m talking about. Actually I had fun having a go as well, I don’t get to leap around in a jumping castle like a mad fool that often. Sora kept wanting to go on that infernal dancing platform game thing. That one where you have to jump on the pads in time to the music…phew, that was my exercise for the month. Yesterday I watched some Doug Batchelor talks with my friends Maike and Brian and checked out some more of Brian’s pictures . Their dog, Wolfgang, has taken quite a liking to me for some reason.

Today has been a quiet day but I’ve been thinking alot.


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